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Opinion

What Not To Do: At The Movie Theater

The winter season is bringing in big box-office movies such as Frozen 2, 1917, Dolittle, Star Wars and Little Women to name a few. With all these movies to see, movie-goers can definitely get to know the various people in the movie theater: the polite, impolite and downright bizarre. In this edition of “What Not to Do,” we will review the worst of movie theater goers. 

1. The “Loud Eater”

We’ve all been in movie theaters sitting next to someone who bought their large popcorn, candy and a drink. They could just go through the movie being courteous of others and limit their loud chewing noises; but instead, they have to chomp popcorn kernels, crackle the candy wrappers and slurp their drink in the most excessive manor. 

2. The “Worker”

Even with the obvious warnings before each movie to shut phones off and put them away, there’s always that one person who will have their phone on. The bright light illuminates the theater while the ring tones blare over any Dolby sound system. Once, I even attended a movie and a little girl next to me was watching a different movie on her phone while her parents enjoyed the movie on the big screen. No headphones or dimmed brightness, just the color and music playing from a movie made for toddlers. 

3. The “Budgeter” 

This person is known for bringing food into the theater—and not just a bottle of water or some goldfish, but actual food. Yup, I’ve sat next to people who brought in a full precooked meal into the movie theater. It’s safe to say, the strong aroma of meat and potatoes is sickening when mixed with popcorn and nachos. 

4. The “Lounger”

There’s always that person in the theater who likes to really spread out during the movie, as if they were on their couch at home. But, of course, they’re not home; these movie goers happen to be surrounded by people who don’t want limbs overflowing into their personal space. These people love to take both of the armrests and even specifically buy seats near the metal bars so they can put their feet up. 

5. The “Crying Baby” 

It’s known that if you go to kid movies, you will encounter babies and little kids, but there are some courtesies that are still given to those in the theater without babies. When a baby cries, it is polite to leave until the child calms down, but there are some parents who will just stay in the theater with their screaming baby!

6. The “Need to Knower” 

Whispering is usually something that happens in a movie, but this person takes whispering too far. This person whispers during almost every scene because he or she needs clarification, but their questions would be answered if they just waited until the plot developed more. 

7. The “Laugh Out Louder” 

Comedies, and most all movies now, are laced with comedic scenes and moments to bring in the audience. But these people, well, they laugh—at every, single, little, funny thing the characters do on screen. It’s great to have fun and a sense of humor; but when you’re crying laughing all alone in a theater full of people, then maybe you should stick to watching movies at home. 

Have a suggestion for a “What Not to Do” topic? Email 5csckaal21@sau16.org to submit your ideas!

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